That’s the precautionary statement I often use with my students to forestall a sidetrack that will delay the work at hand. It’s also effective at keeping the already blurred lines of our relationships in check. Nothing.
I know they’ll shun a long story, so the simple statement erects an easy and unnoticed barrier.
But they do all seem to be long stories these days.
Perhaps because I’m getting old.
Or maybe it’s just a creep of color into the gray backdrop of a life spent trying too hard to see all sides.
Still, all my stories seem to have stories within them now. They can’t be told in a few sentences.
I always used to opt for the short answer. An easy explanation to extricate myself from further questions.
(Hmmm. I wonder from where my son gets it.)
But now, it seems disingenuous to answer with yes and no when the real story is so much more complicated.
We’re all so damn complicated.
And without a bit of background, a lot gets lost in translation. Sometimes I feel compelled to fill in the blanks with the brush of color.
We are, after all, a pretty colorful bunch.
Still, I resist.
When my student happily shared her covert plans to burn scented candles in her room, I told her not to. I pointed it out as the obvious dorm violation it was. I extolled the dangers. I asked her to reconsider.
Then, I told her that I’d lost a friend in a dorm fire.
A moment of stunned silence.
She acquiesced; the candles weren’t worth it.
But see, there was a time I would have opted out of sharing that info, avoided the memory. Easier for me, really.
But not worth it.
There’s a perception, I think, when I line up behind administration, that I’m just another of them. I’m worried, I’m cautious, I’m careful.
I’m none of the above.
But they don’t know that. Because I don’t generally tell them.
So when I give them the longer story –they listen. A little.
I can’t always teach them, though, of the interconnectedness of all of our lives. I can’t make them understand the Disney-esque message that it really is a small world.
I understand the tapestry of people and their crisscrossing lives. I can see where the woven threads link, how they connect each to the other.
I could tell them. From the lessons of my own life, I could teach them much about the path they’re on and where it may lead.
Sometimes, I do.
More often, I take a pass.
I could try to explain why.
But it’s a long story.