I don’t have a natural affinity for foreign language. Six
years of publically taught French, a semester of college Italian and I can confidently
say in both languages: Je parle français; io parlo italiano.
But I don’t.
I do, on the other hand, speak a wide variety of Kid.
When they were little, I translated body language and
syllables into needs and wants. As they got older, I inferred meaning from
actions. And alongside them, I learned the
varied languages of their newfound interests.
Pitch, box, yellow card, red card.
Horse stance, knife strike, sensei, gi.
When Alex started playing soccer, I had to learn an unfamiliar
game with its own lexicon. Same with Michael and Karate. My limited knowledge of
his sport had been gleaned from the first Karate Kid. Nothing in that flick,
though, had hinted to the forthcoming acrobatic practice strikes performed in my
kitchen or the proudly growing pile of hand-broken boards in his bedroom.
These were new and odd languages, but I soon became fluid.
Adapted. Got interested. Because my kids were.
I didn’t speak baby or toddler until I did. And I
certainly had had no effective tutelage to teenage.
That language, in particular, was set in code. Especially
as (not) spoken by my son. Years of incessant chatter had given way to sullen
and sometimes seething silence. There were piercing looks and shoulder shrugs.
Grunts, monosyllables. I had to master intent and outcome from a whole lot of
words not being said, decipher a new vocabulary without translation guide or
But like the results from a language immersion class, I
got it. Because I listened. And because I was willing to follow the instruction of native speakers.
Michael’s been teaching me again. A new vocabulary, a new
language. Hookups and pickups (not the kind you think), capacitors and
compressors, reverb field and phase cancellation, C12s and Telefunken U47s.
It’s his language.
And if I listen -allow him to be the teacher- I’m in.
It’s not so much a difficult lesson, as it is one that can
be a bit disorienting. Dizzying, even.
But it is learning and I still love to learn.
I actually don’t understand how others do not.
I learn a lot from my students. I think it’s supposed to
be the other way around. But if that were the only paradigm I was willing to
consider, I also think I’d be worse off. We all would be.
Although most buck the concept, some of my students understand
the merit of peer evaluation. They get the idea of learning not only from their
professors, but also from their classmates. A few of them, anyway. Fewer still
believe that their own ideas can be instructive; that they can be both student
and teacher at the same time.
As parents, maybe we should embrace a bit more of this fluid
concept of instruction. We’ve got a lot of lessons to teach, wisdom to impart.
But we can also learn from our kids and the other children in our lives.
We just have to listen and be willing to twist our
tongues around a new syllable or two.